Make the best of traveling for work.

I spent this past week at a work offsite in Minnesota. I should also add that I spent the better half of last weekend apprehensive and anxious about the prospect of leaving my husband for 4 full days. While some spouses may relish in the time away, my husband and I have become more and more attached with the years. In truth, we’ve only been married 2.5 years and yes, I suppose in the grand scheme of things, this might be considered “the honeymoon period,” but so bummed was I by the prospect of being alone, I actually cried when he left me for work the morning of my flight.

The truth is that once I had arrived in Minnesota and settled into the hotel, my time was so packed with activity, I scarcely had time to take a dump, let alone spend quite as much time as I would have liked on the phone talking to my hubby. Over time I’ve realized that there are some really cool perks to traveling for work and lessons learned from my experiences that might benefit others:

• You Don’t Need to Drink to Have a Good Time: I stayed up with the best of the partiers, listened to amusing tales, and got to know people I never see due to geographic location or work schedule. In the end, it allowed me to form relationships that most likely will prove invaluable in time. Self-awareness is king here. I know that one lick of alcohol makes me sleepy and sloppy – neither of which I need spilling over into my work life. (no pun intended)
• It’s OK to Get Annoyed by Your Co-Workers: Everyone needs to decompress and in intense away business situations, where you’re forced to be with a lot of the same people all of the time, it becomes even doubly important. Mingle in and out of groups, if your situation allows, and use it as an opportunity to reach out to others and get to know others. Sometimes all you needed was a little diversity in your social setting. Besides, this solution is much more socially acceptable than punching someone.
• The Bed at the Westin Can be Your Alter: Don’t know if you’ve ever stayed at the Westin, but if you haven’t, I highly recommend spending a night on one of their king size beds and spending it alone. It will be the best night of sleep you’ve ever had and you can be as greedy as you want with the pillows and hog all the space on the bed you want without feeling the teensiest bit guilty. Btw, their bathtubs aren’t too shabby either. And after a long day of intense meetings followed by dinner small chat, it’s a nice release.

Being that my quasi-new magazine crush-du-jour is Entrepreneur, I happened to be eye strolling through some posts online, when I came across a feel-good, albeit spot-on post by David Javitch about the right way to motivate employees.

One of the key points relevant for workerbiatches: If you are a manager or employer, don’t assume that just because you have a smart employee that is highly self-motivated and is comfortable assuming more autonomous roles, you don’t need to be involved in nurturing and supporting that individual.

Javitch gives 10 tips to motivate (and since I can’t think of a way to better paraphrase his tips, I’m going to re-post them here):

1. Praise the employee for a job well done–or even partially well done. (From an employee perspective, praise is always something we can afford to hear more of. It’s also especially important that this praise and thanks come from different stakeholders directly involved in your work and impacted by it and not just the boss.)
2. If an employee is bored, involve that individual in a discussion about ways to create a more satisfying career path, including promotions based on concrete outcomes. (Eh, workerbiatch works too hard to condone this one. In fact, I like it so little I’m going to strike it out.)
3. State your clear expectations for task accomplishment. (Paraphrase and/or regurgitate your manager or have them clearly state back to you what you just said often. Ask questions if you’re not entirely comfortable with direct route or follow via email with a, “This is what I understand the task-at-hand to be…” You’d be surprised how often miscommunications happen and can be the culprit for future tension.)
4. Ensure that the job description involves a variety of tasks.
5. Ensure that the employee sees that what she’s doing impacts the whole process or task that others will also be part of. (I’d also add that once said employee is at a certain level and assuming more responsibility, he/she should be owning more pieces.)
6. Make sure that the employee feels that what he/she is doing is meaningful.
7. Provide feedback along the way, pointing out both positive and negative aspects.
8. Allow for an appropriate amount of autonomy for the employee based on previous and anticipated accomplishment. (This is especially apropos with regards to Millenials.)
9. Increase the depth and breadth of what the employee is currently doing.
10. Provide the employee with adequate opportunity to succeed.

As an aside, I feel pretty grateful to have a work environment at present that pretty much hits the mark on all of the motivational points Javitch addressed. Having worked in a lot of different environments, I realize, like true love, it’s a pretty rare thing and  requires the same level of care and effort to sustain it and keep it healthy.
Read more: http://www.entrepreneur.com/humanresources/employeemanagementcolumnistdavidjavitch/article202352.html#ixzz0JeYt4RKC&C

Gear up for some tips on Home-Based Businesses

This month’s Entrepreneur has an interesting article about starting a home-based franchise business. While most of the franchises in their top 101 list seem to be cleaning businesses and overall, the list did little entice me into jump-starting my own franchise-specific savings account, it does beg the question if working in your skivvies is ultimately what we’re all after.

So what skills should a successful home-based franchisee or independent contractor/freelancer possess? Assuming we’re all into working in our skivvies afterall…

Let’s start with basics:

• Know Your Legalese: As an independent contractor/freelancer, you set up shop under your own name, so to speak. You’re working under your own business guidelines, free of any legal ties to a franchisor. For either scenario, legal counsel will be helpful in assessing your business’ liquidity and giving you sound peace/piece of mind.
• Keep Figures Straight (or Know What Software to Utilize): For savvy bookkeeping business owners with a penchant for Accounting, keep track of the #s might not seem daunting, but to the less skilled, it can be. Keep this in mind as you get your freelance business or franchise off the ground. You’ll want to seriously consider investing in efficient bookkeeping software.
• Consummate the Relationship Early On: As stressful and time-consuming as a day gig can feel (Did i mention soulless and thankless too?), remember that whether it’s your side business or you’re committing to a franchise or solo contracting biz full-on, it will take the guts and guts inside the guts out of you. What distinguishes this from all other relationships you’ve had in the past is your commitment to its success so be in it for the long haul .
• Don’t Start Every Bullet Point with a “K”: It’s ok to spice it up once in a while as I just reminded myself in the last bullet. The most interesting gigs I ever embarked on that eventually led to more serious professional relationships were started on a “trial” basis. It allows you to test the climate and the waters to know if you’re ready to jump in head first, especially relevant when going the freelancing route.

For more useful “starting your own franchise” information, go to AllBusiness.com.

Me talk money one day

I pride myself on being direct and being experienced enough as a freelancer to know better. So why do I find it so difficult to bring up the dreaded topic of money and billing rates especially when I’ve already submitted a proposal to a client and go the extra step of doing initial exploratory work free-of-charge?

This particular instance which I’ve described above recently happened to me.

I felt even more worthless when I got off the phone with said client and realized I was so busy trying to sell myself that I’d forgotten to bring up my rates. In all honestly, my proposal outlined my hourly billing rates and he had skimmed it and given his initial “ok” but we’d never had a conversation specifically related to how much he was planning on paying me.

Ambiguity doesn’t sit well with me and in business, it’s the kiss of death. I realize that if I can’t have such a conversation with my potential client it might not bode well for our relationship longevity, but I opt not to think so deeply on this one. I don’t think it’s such a simple cause-and-effect.

I choose to think that much like I don’t like having to tell my boss I’m taking a vacation and might conveniently forget to mention it a few times before I eventually bring it up, this is another example of a conversation I’d rather not have because it makes me uncomfortable and ok, if you want to get deep here, I fear (more than the rejection) that ugly word: Conflict.

I’m not throwing in the towel on this project or this client. Yesterday I had to send him a document I created and I used that as an opportunity to remind him of my rates. Sure, it’s a bit of a pansy move and it does little to further the line of DIRECT communication, but work with me here. It’s a start.

There was something darn right inspirational about watching Celtics captain Paul Pierce recover from a knee injury in the 3rd quarter of the 1st game of the NBA playoffs last night. At the first half of the quarter, moments after his fall, his condition was so severe that he had to be carried to a wheelchair by his teammates because he couldn’t walk. After heroically returning to the game with a visibly painful knee sprain just a few minutes later, (and getting standing ovations from the crowd) Pierce went on to score consecutive field goals in a 20 second time span to give the Celtics the edge they needed to close out the 3rd quarter.

I couldn’t help but envy Piece and I know I’m not alone in this. It’s not because he’s a talented professional athlete who makes wads of cash and knows more fame that I could ever aspire to, but because in those defining moments after he fell, all he could think to do was get back in the game. He was able to go back and face what could have potentially been his, and his team’s, unraveling last night and turn it around. It’s no wonder athletes often have God complexes, especially basketball players. They get to reach such great heights (physically). When it comes down to it, how many of us get to feel the rush of such a feat in our day-to-days and have affirmed that what we do not only matters, but it counts?

Yesterday was a bizarre day in the world of Boston sports. The tension was brimming over the top all over the city-from Fenway Park to the old Boston Garden- and it nearly ignited. The Red Sox’s Coco Crisp went postal on some Tampa Bay pitcher and then Tampa Bay went nutz all over the Red Sox. “Havoc” and “mayhem” aren’t even apt words to describe what went down there. Some hours later, Paul Pierce was nearly down for the count. Drama was in the air. Would he return to the game? Would he play basketball again in this series? Or ever again?

By the time all this drama came my way, I had experienced my own fill for the day. Yesterday, I got laid off from a job I’d so grown to hate over the past 6 mos and yet even so, I devoted myself to so selflessly with very little in return. This sort of pattern of behavior was nothing new with this job. In fact, it was something my husband had called me on and I wondered about myself. Had I regressed into a pathetic, unempowered version of my former 20-something self?

About a year ago, I returned to a full-time professional gig. I’d returned to this “responsible” life after three years of a freelancing, somewhat swinging “career of one” existence only to find that all the qualities I’d obtained and the traits I valued most about myself were put to waste. I ended up as a gloried admin pushing calendars, schedules, deliverables, and learning I hated telling people how to live their professional lives and being a plain ol’ nudnick. In the end, I just wanted to be left to my own devices and work on my writing. As it so happens, it’s when I’d just started to embark on work more suited to my talents that my company decided to let me go.

I’ve learned through a lot of shitty “life experiences” that in our most powerless moments, when we feel stripped of whatever dignity we might have thought we possessed, that even in those moments of despair, we still have options. We can choose to behave honorably and/or tell people to go to hell and put it all out on the line. (I think you need to be the judge of which alternative makes the most sense for you. I’ve done both and found each to be mutually satisfying.)

As someone who graduated college and entered into the workforce during the dot-com era, I don’t usually hold to much faith in the companies, but I always put a premium on the quality people I meet along the way because I’ve found cultivating those relationships will help you in the short- and long-term. True to this, I made a point taking time yesterday to talk to each and every person whose relationship and kinship I valued. I didn’t say “bye” to these people. This isn’t because I’m delusional enough to think we’ll all start hanging out every Wednesday night or even that I’ll necessarily talk to them again, but right now I”m digging the open door policy.

I take away from this job and chapter in my life a few lessons learned and coincidentally in hindsight might have prevented me from making colossal job mistakes:

1. When you go to interview, really absorb the office environment and ask yourself if this is a place you can see yourself coming to everyday. If it’s not, go out for a drink and congratulate yourself. You just saved yourself a ton of grief.
2. Test out the dynamic with your potential manager to make sure the relationship is one that meets and supports your needs. You need to feel that you can connect with this person and have a direct relationship. If you can’t you need to move on for your sanity and for your family’s well-being.
3. Work in a place where your work and your participation/contribution is appreciated (and not just monetarily). But yes, also monetarily.
4. Make sure that management is your advocate. This way when they give you the boot, hopefully it’s designer couture, and not one of the Payless variety that’s acutely lodged into your asshole.
5. Don’t work for a place that tells you that you need to pay your dues. It’s a BS line. You don’t. And if you feel that you do, don’t share this with people cause they will think you’re naive and take advantage of that.
6. Use life as material. It is. So what if you’re not a writer and Project Greenlight scripts aren’t the sole subject of your wet dreams, there is so much to be learned about yourself from all your dislikes and likes related to job, career, people, etc – from your journey. Take a deep dive into that shit, smear it all over your face and tattoo it on your heart. Then scope out what you and want go after it, over and over again till you arrive at a place that feels right. Feelings are key.
7. Trust that voice inside yourself. Sometimes you’ll feel like answering it and while you know it’s not a real person and others around you might give you dirty looks when you accidentally respond to its question, answer it. That voice knows you better than that scary, deranged bearded man that’s locked up in that cabin on the island on “Lost.”
8. Know that even if you get laid off and you’re unemployed, you’re still employable. You’ve acquired a whole new set of skills, contacts, and resource pool to tap into. Ask those people you respect (former co-workers, friends, family, etc) what your strengths and weaknesses you possess and the best way to position yourself for your next chapter. Ask them for help with your resume too!
9. Lastly, don’t lick your wounds for weeks. It’ll leave a pile of drool that will make you the subject of justified mockery. Move on.

Let’s face it. We don’t really need a phone, a BB, an IM service, a wiki (or the equivalent of an online file sharing repository where we can leave even more verbal vestiges of our daily excess), and several email accounts. We’re polluting our networks and our cable providers with unnecessary clutter and maxing out memory. But worst of all, we’ve become so accustomed to all these materialistic spoils we’ve forgotten how to actually talk to someone.

All this introspective anti-technology ranting spilled from my head recently when my company’s server went down. We were only able to connect to our internal resources (server) inside the office and could only access our external resources (Internet aka contact with the outside world) if we worked outside of our physical office.

My company is wired for us to work with ease externally. It’s one of the perks of working there and this also means we should be able to work from home at any given moment. We have VPN which allows for getting onto the internal network from anywhere and accessing whatever files we might need. This was also down.

I realized after Day 1 of this travesty that I tended to err on the side of external resources. Not having access to internet for one whole work day was enough for me to arrive at the conclusion that human contact meant less to me in the short-term than being able to jump on IM or Twitter my status updates through my Facebook account at any given moment.

Silly, I know. But I got to the point after Day 2 where I was lonely. I didn’t want to be alone and quite honestly I could have accomplished more in the office, without the IM distraction of Gmail chat or AOL IM. And yet, despite my loneliness, here I was trying to avoid unnecessary non-work related distractions on IM. I learned that a”Busy-I’m working” message up on my Gmail account could really be a stand-in for my best friend and despite my hyper over-achiever mindset, being “idle” meant I could get more shit done.

From my days of self-contained confinement, I’ve decided IMing sucks and furthermore, there should be an unwritten law or driving principle behind companies implementing IM as an acceptable form of inter-office communications. What this means is that if you have an urge to start ranting on about the blue nail polish of someone sitting in the adjacent cube, in an ideal world, you would be sent an electronic volt shock of enough amps to make you thing again before disrespecting someone else’s time with your drivel. There would also be a junk filter button similar to spam filers to eliminate all the garbage that comes pouring out people’s minds and spills onto their keyboards. This would also mean that for most people only 2% would end up getting communicated. That’s ok.

Technology is great. Don’t get me wrong. I’m all over Facebook, Friendster, Flixter, Flickr, and just about all the f*-ster sites out there. I use and abuse them just like everyone else. But in creating more applications (and channels) for indirect discourse and ironically to build in more communication time, have we become entirely socially dysfunctional? Have we lost the ability to connect and communicate in way that’s actually effective and doesn’t entirely turn everyone else off?

I think so. In short, I think we’re kinda just plain gross.

I got the idea for this blog when I started tabulating all the hours I bank bitching about my job. I wanted to turn over a new chapter in what had become a rather tedious, I‘m sick of hearing myself vent non-stop existence and so I resorted to the one hobby I’d made an actual career off of at one point in my life: Constructive kvetching.

Believe it or not there is an actual art to complaining and my dream has always been to make loads of money doing so. Why not? Woody Allen based an entire genre of film and a lucractive film career off it. “Seinfeld” and “Curb Your Enthusiasm” proved that there was an at-home market for this brand of humor.

Back to this blog…

Ironically the person that inspired the name of this blog is one of those work people I vent about, sometimes more than I would like. Teamwork has a way of putting a strain on otherwise innocuous relationships (Translation: it can make your everyday interactions read more like a re-enactment of Joan Crawford in “Mommie Dearest” with you in the supporting role at the receiving end of the hanger)

One day we were all sitting around the lunch table when she made the astute observation that early in my job, I’d been our previous boss’ “prison biatch”. I laughed at this because a) it made me slightly uncomfortable and i get like that in moments of complete and utter shock and b) it was totally accurate as far as analogies go.

The thing that made me uncomfortable was that I wasn’t entirely sure I wasn’t anyone’s biatch anymore – if I hadn’t somehow migrated from being person A’s biatch to this particular woman’s biatch. In any event, the facts didn’t sit well with me. I liked the analogy however and vowed to slip it into conversations as often as possible, much to the astonishment of my husband.

I’m a firm believer in wrapping things up quickly and moving on. Context is key and since we’ve established on some level the etymology of this blog, we can forge forward into future posts on:

• “T-E-A-M-W-O-R-K” being a 4-letter word
• Why “ownership” and jargon related to car metaphors (like “driving”) when referencing your career trajectory is bullocks
• How to keep afloat and propel yourself forward while ensuring others envy you

It’s not so much about empowerment. What can I possibly tell you that you don’t already know? It’s more about reclaiming your life and putting others in their place. It’s those small everyday feats that make you feel a little less small about yourself.