Catching a fish is no easy feat.

In the past 24 hours, I’ve been studying the decline of the # of female entrepreneurs either starting their own businesses or taking their new businesses to the next level. Both the Kauffman Foundation’s Report on Entrepreneurial Activity and Global Entrepreneurship Monitor’s 2007 Report on Women & Entrepreneurship indicate an alarming decrease in the # of women globally starting their own companies.

While certain countries, such as Japan and Peru, show an increase in the # of female entrepreneurs, by in large, men are twice as likely to start their own businesses as women. More than that, there are very few dissimilitudes in the way both genders approach business to account for the disparity.

So what’s stopping us?

Well, for one, GEM’s study finds that women tend to be less optimistic about the risk of starting a new business or making a change. This causes women to be less confident about their ventures and as a result, the fear of failure kicks in and results in a flight response.

While fear of failure has often been attributed to killing a women’s drive, and I, for one, am no less of a chicken, in this regard, how do we go about dispelling that fear and ridding it from our consciousness?

Getting personal for a second, when I had a miscarriage earlier this year (from which I’m still reeling from a bit), my gut reaction was what an absolute failure I was. I had a similar reaction when I lost my job, a month after I had my miscarriage. It wasn’t quite as severe, but I the same feelings of shame surfaced again.

I was angry at myself for feeling like a loser, but came to realize, that falling short is perhaps a woman’s greatest insecurity. Just look at how we’re conditioned from our youth to find, not just any Alpha Male to mate with, but the one with the right genetic combination to satisfy the lofty expectations of our family and friends, and if we’re lucky to meet our own. We have to compete with how many other women? (aside from mom, sister and ex-girlfriends?)

So how do we empower women to feel confident and optimistic about change and risk without tapping into their deep-seated fears about their competencies? In short, how do we level the playing field?

The United Nations is working on an initiative called “gender mainstreaming” that is about identifying gaps and bridging understanding in developing countries. In Lativa, women-owned businesses favor hiring women and it’s proved to be an effective way of ushering a new generation of women into the workforce there. And in Finland, women-owned businesses show the most profitability so they are exploring ways to make executive roles more gender-neutral and merit-based. (as opposed to the ‘ol boys network)

With the word “Change” being tossed around like some cheap dime store whiskey lately in presidential campaigning, I’m hesistent to cheapen a sentiment here. Let’s just say the world won’t get better overnight, but progress can and should be made everyday.

I'll cry if I want to.

Forget making friends being expensive. These days you can’t even afford the hefty price of admission at a lot of the most popular business networking events around if you’re a self-employed freelancer, unless you’re one that charges $100+ for your services.

And honestly (no offense to those who charge those steep prices), but whose services are that good?

If you’re anything like me, you’re not a high-roller and you’re not even all that convincing at playing the part by wearing the designer threads to get noticed. You’re just trying to make more business happen by expanding your community of offline contacts.

While I know there are a gazillion events like NetParty or NetMixer that are all about mingling to the beat of beer, billiards, or disco balls, my heightened sense of self-awareness won’t allow me to feel that these aren’t entirely a waste of my time.

Maybe, it’s the anti-social entrepreneur in me.

I prefer events that host some sort of themed panel showcasing a few successful businessmen/women who have sought out unique and innovative business solutions – people that I can learn from and introduce myself to. Preferably Bill Gates or Steve Jobs.

Unfortunately once you get keynote speakers involved (and I’m not talking Microsoft or Apple caliber, here), the price tag of an event jumps like tenfold. In fact, it’s an all-out class war between those who make a ton of bling and the rest of us.

As a Boston native, I scour Garysguide.org daily looking for the right event to complement my work style and brand attitude. Otherwise everything feels too forced.

Since I’m a little out of practice when it comes to these events as the last “networking” event I attended was almost 3 years ago (and that was because a buddy of mine put a figurative gun to my head), tiny, baby steps in the wading pool make the most sense. The best find I’ve come across for such an event is Steve Garfield’s Boston Media Makers. It’s informal and friendly enough to mingle comfortably, and also helps with practicing that elevator pitch since the Sunday brunch starts with people going around the table and talking for less than 3 minutes each about what is they do.

Think this is an easy task?

Think again…But it’s a low-risk environment and a great, supportive crowd to introduce yourself to. I’m sure similar events take place around the country and if they do, you should jump on the bandwagon. And did I mention it’s free, apart from the price of food?

But back to pricey events…

Since I write from time to time on issues of women in the workplace and starting their own businesses, I had a particularly strong interest in attending MIT’s Women In Technology Workshop. “What better way to band with the sisters and learn and grow from each other’s experiences?” I told myself.

Unfortunately, even at the early bird rate of $325/pp for a day’s session, I realized this was a VIP event and the likes of the average woman on a shoestring budget weren’t welcome.

Same thing for the Creative Direct Marketing Strategies Seminar day session I wanted to attend. This one involved a little more hands-on training, but at $1699/pp for “non-members,” and $1399/pp for “members” I came to conclude that even if I were a member of this club, I wouldn’t be able to afford the price to belong.

Alas, there has to be a constructive networking event/group that would want to have me as its participant, it just might take some more diggin’ before I find it.

In the meantime, I’ll continue to network online at will.